The Jokes Thread
- Thread starter pnoom
- Start date
marval
New member
lol Teddy, very good.
A man follows a woman out of a movie theatre. She has a dog on a leash.
He stops her and says, "I'm sorry to bother you, but I couldn't help but notice that your dog really seemed to be enjoying the movie.
"He cried at the right spots, he moved nervously in his seat at the boring parts, but most of all, he laughed like crazy at the funny parts. Don't you find it strange?"
"Yes," she replied, "I found it very strange. He hated the book!"
Margaret
A man follows a woman out of a movie theatre. She has a dog on a leash.
He stops her and says, "I'm sorry to bother you, but I couldn't help but notice that your dog really seemed to be enjoying the movie.
"He cried at the right spots, he moved nervously in his seat at the boring parts, but most of all, he laughed like crazy at the funny parts. Don't you find it strange?"
"Yes," she replied, "I found it very strange. He hated the book!"
Margaret
Dorsetmike
Member
GUTS and BALLS
We've all heard about people having Guts or Balls,
But do you really know the difference between them?
In an effort to keep you informed, here are the definitions:
GUTS - Is arriving home late after a night out with the boys, being
met by your wife with a broom, and having the Guts to ask: 'Are you
still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?'
BALLS - Is coming home late after a night out with the guys, smelling of
perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on her
bum and having the Balls to say: 'You're next, Chubby.'
I hope this clears up any confusion on the definitions.
Medically speaking there is no difference in the outcome.
Both result in death.
We've all heard about people having Guts or Balls,
But do you really know the difference between them?
In an effort to keep you informed, here are the definitions:
GUTS - Is arriving home late after a night out with the boys, being
met by your wife with a broom, and having the Guts to ask: 'Are you
still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?'
BALLS - Is coming home late after a night out with the guys, smelling of
perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on her
bum and having the Balls to say: 'You're next, Chubby.'
I hope this clears up any confusion on the definitions.
Medically speaking there is no difference in the outcome.
Both result in death.
White Knight
Spectral Warrior con passion
Mike, excellent! I'm still laughing so hard I don't know if I'll ever stop.:lol: :lol: And how true, especially the last part! 
:angel:
:angel:
teddy
Duckmeister
A cop was on his horse waiting to cross the street,
when a little girl On her new shiny bike stopped beside him.
'Nice bike,' the cop said. 'Did Santa bring it to you?'
'Yes Sir,' the little girl said, 'he sure did!'
The cop looked the bike over and handed
The girl a $5.00 ticket for a safety violation.
The cop said, 'Give this to your Dad, and next year, tell Santa to put
A reflector light on the back of it!'
The young girl looked up at the cop and said,
'Nice horse you've got there Sir. Did Santa bring it to you?'
Playing along with the girl, he chuckled and answered,
'Yes, he sure did!'
The little girl looked up at the cop and said:
The dick goes underneath the horse, not on top'!!!
teddy
when a little girl On her new shiny bike stopped beside him.
'Nice bike,' the cop said. 'Did Santa bring it to you?'
'Yes Sir,' the little girl said, 'he sure did!'
The cop looked the bike over and handed
The girl a $5.00 ticket for a safety violation.
The cop said, 'Give this to your Dad, and next year, tell Santa to put
A reflector light on the back of it!'
The young girl looked up at the cop and said,
'Nice horse you've got there Sir. Did Santa bring it to you?'
Playing along with the girl, he chuckled and answered,
'Yes, he sure did!'
The little girl looked up at the cop and said:
'Next year tell Santa;
The dick goes underneath the horse, not on top'!!!
teddy
Alban Berg
Banned
5 Jews who changed the world:
Moses: who said law is everything
Jesus: who said Love is everything
Karl Marx: who said Capital is everything
Sigmund Freud: who said Sex is everything
and Einstein ruined everything saying: everything is relative.
Martin
Moses: who said law is everything
Jesus: who said Love is everything
Karl Marx: who said Capital is everything
Sigmund Freud: who said Sex is everything
and Einstein ruined everything saying: everything is relative.
Martin
Alban Berg
Banned
Alban Berg
Banned
Alban Berg
Banned
have you heard about Ginger?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QAK-Idghs4A
Enjoy it!
You have many others!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QAK-Idghs4A
Enjoy it!
You have many others!
Alban Berg
Banned
Well...
I have forgotten to tell you that we met some years ago...She's so romantic...LOL
Martin
I have forgotten to tell you that we met some years ago...She's so romantic...LOL
Martin
marval
New member
A man wants to celebrate his wife’s Birthday by throwing a party.
So he goes to order a birthday cake. The salesman asks him what message he wants to put on the cake.
Well he thinks for a while and says, “Put ‘You’re not getting older,’ at the top and ‘You’re getting better’ at the bottom.”
The real fun didn’t start until the cake was opened the entire party looked at the message decorated on the cake:
“You’re not getting older at the top, you’re getting better at the bottom.”
Margaret
So he goes to order a birthday cake. The salesman asks him what message he wants to put on the cake.
Well he thinks for a while and says, “Put ‘You’re not getting older,’ at the top and ‘You’re getting better’ at the bottom.”
The real fun didn’t start until the cake was opened the entire party looked at the message decorated on the cake:
“You’re not getting older at the top, you’re getting better at the bottom.”
Margaret
White Knight
Spectral Warrior con passion
Margaret, for a bummer, it's a very good joke indeed! :lol: :clap: