JHC
Chief assistant to the assistant chief
OK Steve what is skel?
The Jokes Thread
- Thread starter pnoom
- Start date
White Knight
Spectral Warrior con passion
Colin. it is a low-life violent person who has made a lifetime out of victimizing people weaker than himself.
JHC
Chief assistant to the assistant chief
I meant what do the letters stand for ?
JHC
Chief assistant to the assistant chief
Try this at least past the 1 minute mark [URL="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m0rrLdWLu_0&feature=player_embedded"]origin of irish dance [/URL]
marval
New member
Chav
http://onlineslangdictionary.com/definition+of/chav
Every night after dinner, Harry took off for the local watering hole. He would spend the whole evening there and always arrive home well inebriated around midnight. He usually had trouble getting his key to fit in the keyhole and couldn't get the door open. And every time this happened, his wife would go to the door and let him in. Then she would proceed to yell and scream at him for his constant nights out and coming home in a drunken state. But Harry just continued his nightly routine.
One day, the wife was talking to a friend about her husband's behavior and was particularly distraught by it all.
Her friend said, "Why don't you treat him a little differently when he comes home? Instead of berating him, why don't you give him some loving words and welcome him home with a kiss? Then he might change his ways."
The wife thought this might be a good idea. That night, Harry took off again after dinner. At about midnight, he arrived home in his usual condition. His wife heard him at the door. She quickly opened it and let Harry in. Instead of berating him as she had always done, this time she took his arm and led him into the living room. She sat Harry down in an easy chair, put his feet up on the ottoman, and took his shoes off. Then she went behind him and started to cuddle him a little.
After a little while, she said to Harry, "It's pretty late, dear. I think we had better go upstairs to bed now, don't you think?"
At that, he replied in his inebriated state, "I guess we might as well. I'll get in trouble when I get home anyway!
http://onlineslangdictionary.com/definition+of/chav
Every night after dinner, Harry took off for the local watering hole. He would spend the whole evening there and always arrive home well inebriated around midnight. He usually had trouble getting his key to fit in the keyhole and couldn't get the door open. And every time this happened, his wife would go to the door and let him in. Then she would proceed to yell and scream at him for his constant nights out and coming home in a drunken state. But Harry just continued his nightly routine.
One day, the wife was talking to a friend about her husband's behavior and was particularly distraught by it all.
Her friend said, "Why don't you treat him a little differently when he comes home? Instead of berating him, why don't you give him some loving words and welcome him home with a kiss? Then he might change his ways."
The wife thought this might be a good idea. That night, Harry took off again after dinner. At about midnight, he arrived home in his usual condition. His wife heard him at the door. She quickly opened it and let Harry in. Instead of berating him as she had always done, this time she took his arm and led him into the living room. She sat Harry down in an easy chair, put his feet up on the ottoman, and took his shoes off. Then she went behind him and started to cuddle him a little.
After a little while, she said to Harry, "It's pretty late, dear. I think we had better go upstairs to bed now, don't you think?"
At that, he replied in his inebriated state, "I guess we might as well. I'll get in trouble when I get home anyway!
teddy
Duckmeister
A policeman in Adelaide pulled over a driver who had been weaving in and out of the traffic.
He approached the car window and said "Sir I need you to blow into this breathalyzer".
The man reaches into his pocket and produces a doctor's note.
On it was written:
"This man suffers from chronic asthma.
Do not make him perform any action that may leave him short of breath".
The policeman said "Okay then I need you to come and give a blood sample"
The man produced another letter.
This one said:
”This man is a hemophiliac.
Please do not cause him to bleed in any way".
So the officer said: "Right, I need a urine sample then".
The man produces a third letter from his pocket.
It read:
"This man plays cricket for Australia ; please don't take the p**s out of him"
teddy
He approached the car window and said "Sir I need you to blow into this breathalyzer".
The man reaches into his pocket and produces a doctor's note.
On it was written:
"This man suffers from chronic asthma.
Do not make him perform any action that may leave him short of breath".
The policeman said "Okay then I need you to come and give a blood sample"
The man produced another letter.
This one said:
”This man is a hemophiliac.
Please do not cause him to bleed in any way".
So the officer said: "Right, I need a urine sample then".
The man produces a third letter from his pocket.
It read:
"This man plays cricket for Australia ; please don't take the p**s out of him"
teddy
marval
New member
lol @ Teddy
A fellow walked into a doctor's office and the receptionist asked him what he had.
He said, "Shingles."
So she took down his name, address, medical insurance number and told him to have a seat.
A few minutes later a nurse's aide came out and asked him what he had.
He said, "Shingles."
So she took down his height, weight, a complete medical history and told him to wait in the examining room.
Ten minutes later a nurse came in and asked him what he had.
He said, "Shingles."
So she gave him a blood test, a blood pressure test, an electrocardiogram, told him to take off all his clothes and wait for the doctor.
Fifteen minutes later the doctor came in and asked him what he had.
He said, "Shingles."
The doctor said, "Where?"
He said, "Outside in the truck. Where do you want them?"
A fellow walked into a doctor's office and the receptionist asked him what he had.
He said, "Shingles."
So she took down his name, address, medical insurance number and told him to have a seat.
A few minutes later a nurse's aide came out and asked him what he had.
He said, "Shingles."
So she took down his height, weight, a complete medical history and told him to wait in the examining room.
Ten minutes later a nurse came in and asked him what he had.
He said, "Shingles."
So she gave him a blood test, a blood pressure test, an electrocardiogram, told him to take off all his clothes and wait for the doctor.
Fifteen minutes later the doctor came in and asked him what he had.
He said, "Shingles."
The doctor said, "Where?"
He said, "Outside in the truck. Where do you want them?"
marval
New member
JHC
Chief assistant to the assistant chief
Very good teddy btw how are England going in the cricket?
In my softest whisper "Are you still enjoying Coro St"
marval
New member
marval
New member
There was a long drought in Central Africa. The witch doctor had tried all his rainmaking dances, but to no avail. One of the elders observed that rain was never a problem in England, so why not send the witch doctor to London to learn the secret. Off he went to England, learned the secret, and returned to the tribe.
He informed the leaders that these crazy white men had a big paddock of grass enclosed by a white picket fence.
In the middle were two lots of sticks driven into the ground. Two men, each with a club, stood next to these sticks and waited for a lot of other men to spread themselves all over the paddock.
Then two more men, wearing black trousers, four sweaters and six hats, came out to keep a close watch on the men with the clubs.
Then one man got a red rock and threw it at one of the fellers with a club. AND DOWN CAME THE RAIN!
Cricket made easy.
You have two sides one out in the field and one in.
Each man that's in the side that's in goes out and when he's out he comes in and the next man goes in until he's out.
When they are all out the side that's out comes in and the side that's been in goes out and tries to get those coming in out.
Sometimes you get men still in and not out.
When both sides have been in and out including the not outs, THAT'S THE END OF THE GAME!
HOWZAT!!!!!
He informed the leaders that these crazy white men had a big paddock of grass enclosed by a white picket fence.
In the middle were two lots of sticks driven into the ground. Two men, each with a club, stood next to these sticks and waited for a lot of other men to spread themselves all over the paddock.
Then two more men, wearing black trousers, four sweaters and six hats, came out to keep a close watch on the men with the clubs.
Then one man got a red rock and threw it at one of the fellers with a club. AND DOWN CAME THE RAIN!
Cricket made easy.
You have two sides one out in the field and one in.
Each man that's in the side that's in goes out and when he's out he comes in and the next man goes in until he's out.
When they are all out the side that's out comes in and the side that's been in goes out and tries to get those coming in out.
Sometimes you get men still in and not out.
When both sides have been in and out including the not outs, THAT'S THE END OF THE GAME!
HOWZAT!!!!!