The quotes thread

[marval]

“The biggest reward for a thing well done is to have done it.”
Francois Voltaire

 

[Contratrombone64]

I bequeathed all my property to my wife on the condition that she remarry immediately. Then there will be at least one man to regret my death.
---German poet Heinrich Heine

 

[marval]

Nice one CT.



If you look like your passport photo, You're too ill to travel
Will Kommen

 

[marval]

"We are unable to announce the weather. We depend on weather reports from the airport, which is closed, due to weather. Whether we will be able to give you a weather report tomorrow will depend on the weather."
[FONT=Arial,Helvetica] Arab News report[/FONT]

 

[Contratrombone64]

Tell the cook of this restaurant with my compliments that these are the very worst sandwiches in the whole world, and that, when I ask for a watercress sandwich, I do not mean a loaf with a fieldin the middle of it.
--- writer Oscar Wilde

(tend to disagree with the beloved Oscar on that ... I mean, he did ask for a watercress sandwich, go figure).

 

[sunwaiter]

i'm what i'm

Popeye the sailor.

 

[marval]

Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget for a butler.
W.C.Fields

 

[sunwaiter]

Himmler, visiting a camp under a heavy rain:

"Ach, let's not spoil our pleasure".

 

[marval]

The Three Ages of Marriage: Twenty is when you watch the TV after. Forty is when you watch the TV during. Sixty is when you watch the TV instead.
Unknown

 

[marval]

I thought coq au vin was love in a lorry.
Victoria Wood

 

[sunwaiter]

in some cases you watch the tv before, because it's the only way to get to it. some don't even stop watching their tv, because they hate looking for something to say all along.

 

[Contratrombone64]

I love long walks, especially when taken by people I detest
---Oscar Wilde

 

[marval]

"A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems."
Paul Erdos (1913-1996)

 

[sunwaiter]

"im fed up talking about money, all i wanna do now is play basket ball, drink pepsi and wear nike".

shaquille o'neal

 

[marval]

Happiness is like a kiss. You must share it to enjoy it.
Bernard Meltzer

 

[sunwaiter]

that krusty camp was a nightmare, they beat us and fed us cruel. One of us was even eaten by a bear!

oh my gooood

actually

 

[sunwaiter]

it only ate his hat.

was it a nice hat?

yeah.

oh my gooooood!



Bart and krusty.

 

[Mat]

"Eat my shorts!"


Bart Simpson

 

[marval]

"I am a Bear of Very Little Brain, and long words bother me."
Winnie the Pooh

 

[Contratrombone64]

D'oh!!

Homer Simpson