the Politically Incorrect Jokes Thread
- Thread starter Contratrombone64
- Start date
marval
New member
Research had been going on for many years as to the invention of the toothbrush.
Researchers knew the purpose of the device, but wanted to know and acknowledge where it originated from.
After a very long and exasperating study the researchers come to their conclusion as to the origin of the toothbrush. It was decided that the toothbrush was invented by a Redneck.
Intrigued with the discovery, the researchers were asked by the media how they came to the conclusion. They all agree it was a simple deduction.
If it was invented by anyone else, it would have been called a teethbrush.
Researchers knew the purpose of the device, but wanted to know and acknowledge where it originated from.
After a very long and exasperating study the researchers come to their conclusion as to the origin of the toothbrush. It was decided that the toothbrush was invented by a Redneck.
Intrigued with the discovery, the researchers were asked by the media how they came to the conclusion. They all agree it was a simple deduction.
If it was invented by anyone else, it would have been called a teethbrush.
marval
New member
Gore and the Clintons are flying on Air Force One. Bill looks at
Al, chuckles and says, "You know, I could throw a $10,000 bill
out the window right now and make one person very happy."
Al shrugs his stiff shoulders and says, "Well, I could throw ten
$1,000 bills out the window and make 10 people very happy."
Hillary tosses her perfectly sprayed hair and says, "Of course,
then, I could throw one-hundred $100 bills out the window and
make a hundred people very happy."
Chelsea rolls her eyes, looks at all of them and says, "I could
throw all of you out the window and make the whole country happy.
Al, chuckles and says, "You know, I could throw a $10,000 bill
out the window right now and make one person very happy."
Al shrugs his stiff shoulders and says, "Well, I could throw ten
$1,000 bills out the window and make 10 people very happy."
Hillary tosses her perfectly sprayed hair and says, "Of course,
then, I could throw one-hundred $100 bills out the window and
make a hundred people very happy."
Chelsea rolls her eyes, looks at all of them and says, "I could
throw all of you out the window and make the whole country happy.
marval
New member
An airline's passenger cabin was being served by an obviously gay flight
attendant, who seemed to put everyone in a good mood as he served them food
and drinks.
As the plane prepared to descend, he came swishing down the aisle and
announced to the passengers, "Captain Marvey has asked me to announce that
he'll be landing the big scary plane shortly, so lovely people, if you
could just put your trays up, that would be super."
On his trip back up the aisle, he noticed a well-dressed rather exotic
looking woman hadn't moved a muscle. "Perhaps you didn't hear me over those
big brute engines. I asked you to raise your trazy-poo, so the main man can
pitty-pat us on the ground."
She calmly turned her head and said, "In my country, I am called a
Princess. I take orders from no one."
To which the flight attendant replied, without missing a beat, "Well,
sweet- cheeks, in my country I'm called a Queen, so I outrank you.
"Tray-up, lady."
attendant, who seemed to put everyone in a good mood as he served them food
and drinks.
As the plane prepared to descend, he came swishing down the aisle and
announced to the passengers, "Captain Marvey has asked me to announce that
he'll be landing the big scary plane shortly, so lovely people, if you
could just put your trays up, that would be super."
On his trip back up the aisle, he noticed a well-dressed rather exotic
looking woman hadn't moved a muscle. "Perhaps you didn't hear me over those
big brute engines. I asked you to raise your trazy-poo, so the main man can
pitty-pat us on the ground."
She calmly turned her head and said, "In my country, I am called a
Princess. I take orders from no one."
To which the flight attendant replied, without missing a beat, "Well,
sweet- cheeks, in my country I'm called a Queen, so I outrank you.
"Tray-up, lady."
methodistgirl
New member
I have a cute video for you.YouTube - This Land!
judy tooley
judy tooley
Corno Dolce
Admiral Honkenwheezenpooferspieler
greatcyber
New member
Margaret, you are a true gem!
Stephen
Stephen
marval
New member
President Bush was visiting a primary school. One of the classes was in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings. The teacher asked the president if he would like to lead the discussion on the word "tragedy."
So the illustrious leader asked the class fo an example of a "tragedy."
One little boy stood up and offered, "If my best friend, who lives on a farm, is playing in the field and a tractor runs him over and kills him, that would be a tragedy."
"No," said Bush, "that would be an accident."
A little girl raised her hand, "if a school bus is carrying 50 children drove over a cliff, killing everyone inside, that would be a tragedy."
"I'm afraid not," explained the president. "That's what we would call a great loss."
The room went silent. No other children volunteered.
Bush searched the room. "Isn't there anyone here who can give me an example of tragedy?" Finally at the back of the room a small boy raised his hand.
In a quiet voice he said. "If Air Force One carrying Mr.Bush was struck by a "friendly fire" missile and blown to smithereens, that would be a tragedy."
"Fantastic!" exclaimed Bush. "That's right. And can you tell me why it would be a tragedy?"
"Well," says the boy, "it has to be a tragedy. because it certainly wouldn't be a great loss and it probably wouldn't be an accident either."
So the illustrious leader asked the class fo an example of a "tragedy."
One little boy stood up and offered, "If my best friend, who lives on a farm, is playing in the field and a tractor runs him over and kills him, that would be a tragedy."
"No," said Bush, "that would be an accident."
A little girl raised her hand, "if a school bus is carrying 50 children drove over a cliff, killing everyone inside, that would be a tragedy."
"I'm afraid not," explained the president. "That's what we would call a great loss."
The room went silent. No other children volunteered.
Bush searched the room. "Isn't there anyone here who can give me an example of tragedy?" Finally at the back of the room a small boy raised his hand.
In a quiet voice he said. "If Air Force One carrying Mr.Bush was struck by a "friendly fire" missile and blown to smithereens, that would be a tragedy."
"Fantastic!" exclaimed Bush. "That's right. And can you tell me why it would be a tragedy?"
"Well," says the boy, "it has to be a tragedy. because it certainly wouldn't be a great loss and it probably wouldn't be an accident either."
marval
New member
These 4 gents go out to play golf one sunny morning. One is detained in the clubhouse, and the other three are discussing their children while walking to the first tee.
"My son Kent," says one, "has made quite a name for himself in the home-building industry. He began as a carpenter, but now owns his own design and construction firm. He's so successful in fact; in the last year he was able to give a good friend a brand new home as a gift."
The second man, not to be out done, tells how his son began his career as a car salesman, but now owns a multi-line dealership. "Norm's so successful, in fact, in the last six months he gave his friend two brand new cars as a gift."
The third man's son, Greg, has worked his way up through a stock brokerage, and in the last few weeks has given a good friend a large stock portfolio as a gift.
As the fourth man arrives at the tee, another tells him that they have been discussing their progeny and asks what line his son is in.
"To tell the truth, I'm not very pleased with how my son turned out," he replies. "For 15 years, Chico's been a hairdresser, and I've just recently discovered he's gay. However, on the bright side, he must be good at what he does because his last three boyfriends have given him a brand new house, two cars, and a big pile of stock certificates."
"My son Kent," says one, "has made quite a name for himself in the home-building industry. He began as a carpenter, but now owns his own design and construction firm. He's so successful in fact; in the last year he was able to give a good friend a brand new home as a gift."
The second man, not to be out done, tells how his son began his career as a car salesman, but now owns a multi-line dealership. "Norm's so successful, in fact, in the last six months he gave his friend two brand new cars as a gift."
The third man's son, Greg, has worked his way up through a stock brokerage, and in the last few weeks has given a good friend a large stock portfolio as a gift.
As the fourth man arrives at the tee, another tells him that they have been discussing their progeny and asks what line his son is in.
"To tell the truth, I'm not very pleased with how my son turned out," he replies. "For 15 years, Chico's been a hairdresser, and I've just recently discovered he's gay. However, on the bright side, he must be good at what he does because his last three boyfriends have given him a brand new house, two cars, and a big pile of stock certificates."
marval
New member
The Saudi Ambassador to the UN has just finished giving a speech, and walks out into the lobby where he meets President Bush.
They shake hands and as they walk the Saudi says, “You know, I have just one question about what I have seen in America.” President Bush says “well your Excellency, anything I can do to help you, I will do.”
The Saudi whispers “My son watches this show “Star Trek” and in it there are Russians, and Blacks and Asians, but never any Arabs. He is very upset; he doesn’t understand why there are never any Arabs in “Star Trek”
President Bush laughs and leans toward the Saudi, and whispers back,
“It’s because it takes place in the future.
They shake hands and as they walk the Saudi says, “You know, I have just one question about what I have seen in America.” President Bush says “well your Excellency, anything I can do to help you, I will do.”
The Saudi whispers “My son watches this show “Star Trek” and in it there are Russians, and Blacks and Asians, but never any Arabs. He is very upset; he doesn’t understand why there are never any Arabs in “Star Trek”
President Bush laughs and leans toward the Saudi, and whispers back,
“It’s because it takes place in the future.