The Poem thread

Contratrombone64

Contratrombone64

Admiral of Fugues
Oh I see ... yes, it's the funniest thing I've heard in ages ... along side the totally unfindable "Who Pays the Piper" (A BBC production that went for about 45 minutes).
 
toto

toto

New member
I was going to get started on the verb "to kiple" –

I kiple
you kiple
he/she/it kiples

etc, etc – but, on second thoughts ...
 
Contratrombone64

Contratrombone64

Admiral of Fugues
Certainly much better than the verb "to Aldi" which an illustrious newby here uses on occasion (who will remain nameless, hint, the only other Sydneysider here (I think))
 
toto

toto

New member
"To aldi" – is that verb pertaining to the spotting of unidentified flying objects, particularly whilst on the way to the Moon? ORIGIN: Astronaut Buzz Aldrin.
 
methodistgirl

methodistgirl

New member
The moon is out tonight.
Stars are shining bright.
Sandman is calling it's time to go to sleep.
Close those little eyes and dream a little dream.
Close your eyes it's nighty night.
judy tooley
 
marval

marval

New member
Hi toto

No I have not seen any little green men working there, but I will keep my eyes open just in case.
alien-smiley-136.gif
alien-smiley-136.gif



That is a nice one Judy, I will be going to bed soon.


Margaret
 
marval

marval

New member
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif][SIZE=+1]Introduction[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]This is based on an old Cannibal/Missionary joke. [/FONT]

[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif][SIZE=+1]The Cannibal's Dinner Guest [/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]There's trouble in the jungle, [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]this hot and humid night. [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Hear the pounding of the drums, [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]see the fires burning bright. [/FONT]

[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]A tribe of hungry cannibals [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]is gathering for a feast, [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]and tonight they're not just cooking up [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]the usual jungle beast. [/FONT]

[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]They dance around the burning flames [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]that flicker in the night, [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]and after all that dancing, [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]well, they've got an appetite. [/FONT]

[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]They eye the captive missionary, [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]and jump about with glee. [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]White folks are a special treat, [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]a real delicacy! [/FONT]

[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]A couple of the cannibals [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]go off to tend the fire, [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]while another plucks the captive [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]of inedible attire. [/FONT]

[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Ample, generous helpings [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]of Caucasian are revealed, [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]as the victim's coat and pants and blouse [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]and bra are slowly peeled. [/FONT]

[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]A lucky youngster over by [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]the village cooking pit, [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]tries on the victim's shoes and socks. [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]How 'bout that...they fit! [/FONT]

[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]The natives start to fan the flames, [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]'cause a barbeque needs heat, [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]especially with a hundred and [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]forty seven pounds of meat. [/FONT]

[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Then the tribal cook arrives [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]with a twelve foot bamboo skewer. [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]The missionary's remaining moments [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]are surely getting fewer. [/FONT]

[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]The tribal cook says to the tribe, [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]"We really should work fast, [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]and quickly get this person cooked [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]for this evening's repast." [/FONT]

[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]But the missionary disagrees, [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]"DON'T YOU DARE!" she shouts. [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]She looks up at the tribal cook [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]and says, "You savage lout, [/FONT]

[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Don't just plop me o'er the fire! [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]I can think of nothing worse... [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]You should MARINATE me for awhile [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]with oil and juices first! [/FONT]

[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]And while I'm roasting, don't forget [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]to BASTE me, you big cretin! [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]It'll make me much more succulent [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]and tender when I'm eaten. [/FONT]

[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Now, I am a little brawny, [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]and in places rather plump, [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]so allow some extra cooking time [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]for my brisket, hams and rump. [/FONT]

[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Be sure to try the liver, too - [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]it's really quite nutritious, [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]and I strongly recommend my calves... [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]they should be MOST delicious!" [/FONT]

[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Well, the natives find it rather odd [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]to get this kind suggestion. [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Most victims only want to give [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]them lots of indigestion. [/FONT]

[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]On the other hand, they don't complain. [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]They do just as she'd asked, [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]dutifully carrying out [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]these culinary tasks. [/FONT]

[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]And everyone joins in the work, [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]there is no effort spared, [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]as the healthy, meaty missionary [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]is lovingly prepared. [/FONT]

[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]The tribal cook shouts out commands: [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]"Don't turn the spit too slow!" [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]"Alright, let's butter her up again, [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]this time from head to toe!" [/FONT]

[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Well, the meal turns out just wonderful, [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]thanks to their dinner guest. [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]All the bones are cleanly picked - [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]the cook is quite impressed. [/FONT]

[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Still, he's just a bit confused, [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]and a little bit surprised. [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Why would this wacky missionary [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]promote her own demise? [/FONT]

[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Well, it seems that she had misconstrued [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]some orders that were sent, [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]from missionary headquarters [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]to her little jungle tent. [/FONT]

[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Her leaders had instructed her [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]to come up with a plan, [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]for teaching all the natives [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]how to SERVE their fellow man ! [/FONT]

[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]THE END (in more ways than one) [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]
Jack Smith [/FONT]
 

Sylvie Pacey

New member
I wrote this poem for a friend who was studying music at university "The Raven and the Nightingale"
The raven and the nightingale were arguing one day
'bout quality and resinance coming in to play.
My voice is strong and very loud is what the raven cried.
Mine is soft and very sweet the nightingale replied.
A competition's what we need to prove who is the best.
An avain Eisteddfod is where we could contest.
So it transpired that in the month of very sunny June
They flew to the Eisteddfod and started up their tune.
We'll see who wins the laurels now the cocky raven said.
He lifted up his shiny beak, threw back his coal black head
And croaked as loudly as he could, to prove his eninence
Then gazed with beady eye upon the seated audience.
The judges all with one accord clapped hands up to their ears
The raucous noise was terrible, confirming all their fears.
The day was nearly over, night approaching fast,
The M.C raised his baton to summon up the last.
Upon a branch above thier heads the little brown bird stood.
His feathers soft, he gently bowed, to show he understood.
And in the moonlight trilled his son - the notes so sweet and clear
Both audience and judges hushed their noise so they might hear..
So in the end the winner was anounced before too long.
The Nightingale entranced them all with his most lovely song.
He won the prize, but we won more the day he learned to sing
For if we listen carefully, we'll hear him every Spring.
Sylvia Pacey
 
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