Musical jokes
- Thread starter Gareth
- Start date
Hawk Henries
New member
Then she starts unzipping the long zipper that runs down the front of her wet suit and she says to him, "And how long has it been since you've had some REAL fun?" ,the man replies, "Good God, woman!, don't tell me you've got a Trombone in there!".
intet-at-tabe that was great!!
intet-at-tabe that was great!!
intet_at_tabe
Rear Admiral Appassionata (Ret.)
intet-at-tabe that was great!!
Thank you sir Hawk! Most women are very resourceful, you know.
We miss you at the poems thread.
Last edited:
marval
New member
One day the musicians for a rather large recording session were assembling at a studio. Everyone had their headphones on, the session was close to getting underway and the producer of the session came over the talkback system and said
"Okay I need to have total silence! Just then the drummer on the session played a big Barumdum Crash!
To which the record producer replied, "Okay who did that?"
"Okay I need to have total silence! Just then the drummer on the session played a big Barumdum Crash!
To which the record producer replied, "Okay who did that?"
intet_at_tabe
Rear Admiral Appassionata (Ret.)
There was a boy in kindergarten who played the viola. One day, he came home and said, "Mommy, today we practiced counting! I got all the way up to 10, but most of the kids messed up around 6 or 7!!!" and his mom said, "Good, that's because you're a violist."
The next day he came home and said, "Mommy, today we practiced the alphabet! I got all the way to the end, but most of the kids got messed up around "s" or "t"!" and his mom said, "Good, that's because you're a violist."
The next day, he came home and said "Mommy, guess what, they measured us today and I'm the tallest person in the whole class!!! Is that because I'm a violist, too?" and his mom said, "No, dear, that's because you're 25 years old."
The next day he came home and said, "Mommy, today we practiced the alphabet! I got all the way to the end, but most of the kids got messed up around "s" or "t"!" and his mom said, "Good, that's because you're a violist."
The next day, he came home and said "Mommy, guess what, they measured us today and I'm the tallest person in the whole class!!! Is that because I'm a violist, too?" and his mom said, "No, dear, that's because you're 25 years old."
intet_at_tabe
Rear Admiral Appassionata (Ret.)
Is the Devil a guitarist:
marval
New member
Last Summer, the local orchestra decided to play Beethoven's 9th Symphony.
However it being quite hot, the players were working up quite a sweat, until a neighbour let them use the ventilators in her house.
However, the wind from the ventilators was causing the notes to blow all over the place, so they had to tie them down to the note holders.
The din from the ventilators was so bad that the bassists decided it didn't matter if they downed a few drinks and got royally drunk.
Two of the bassists go so drunk that they passed out.
One of the violinists, in disgust, decided to go home but slipped and fell.
Thus, it was the bottom of the 9th, the bassists were loaded, the score was tied with two men out, and the fans were roaring wild when one of the players slid home.
However it being quite hot, the players were working up quite a sweat, until a neighbour let them use the ventilators in her house.
However, the wind from the ventilators was causing the notes to blow all over the place, so they had to tie them down to the note holders.
The din from the ventilators was so bad that the bassists decided it didn't matter if they downed a few drinks and got royally drunk.
Two of the bassists go so drunk that they passed out.
One of the violinists, in disgust, decided to go home but slipped and fell.
Thus, it was the bottom of the 9th, the bassists were loaded, the score was tied with two men out, and the fans were roaring wild when one of the players slid home.
intet_at_tabe
Rear Admiral Appassionata (Ret.)
You know that Bill Clinton quit the Saxophone? Yeah, well now he plays the whoremonica.
:lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::clap::clap::clap::clap:
Way to go, Intet
:tiphat:
janny108
New member
metro joke
gnome auditioned to conduct a huge city symphony orchestra. Sadly, the head judge told the poor gnome, "sorry, you just don't have what it takes to be a conductor." The gnome refused to allow that to stop him. He bought some chic new clothes, some really cool shoes, got a snappy new haircut and even bought a swank loft in the heart of the city. He then auditioned again and was hired on the spot. Why? because now he was a.......(scroll for answer...you' re gonna love this)
DRUM ROLL.......
metro gnome
__._,_.___
Jan
gnome auditioned to conduct a huge city symphony orchestra. Sadly, the head judge told the poor gnome, "sorry, you just don't have what it takes to be a conductor." The gnome refused to allow that to stop him. He bought some chic new clothes, some really cool shoes, got a snappy new haircut and even bought a swank loft in the heart of the city. He then auditioned again and was hired on the spot. Why? because now he was a.......(scroll for answer...you' re gonna love this)
DRUM ROLL.......
metro gnome
__._,_.___
Jan
marval
New member
It was visitor's day at the lunatic asylum. All the inmates were standing in the courtyard singing "Ava Maria" and singing it beautifully. Oddly, each of them was holding a red apple in one hand and tapping it rhythmically with a pencil.
A visitor listened in wonderment to the performance and then approached the choir. "I am a retired choir director," he said. "This is one of the best choirs I have ever heard."
"Yes, I'm very proud of them," said the conductor.
"You should take them on tour," said the visitor, "what are they called?"
"Surely that's obvious," replied the conductor. "They are the Moron Tapanapple Choir."
A visitor listened in wonderment to the performance and then approached the choir. "I am a retired choir director," he said. "This is one of the best choirs I have ever heard."
"Yes, I'm very proud of them," said the conductor.
"You should take them on tour," said the visitor, "what are they called?"
"Surely that's obvious," replied the conductor. "They are the Moron Tapanapple Choir."
Hawk Henries
New member
:clap::clap::clap::banana::banana::nut::nut::clap::clap::tiphat::tiphat:
Funny one Margaret!
:nut::nut::clap::clap::tiphat::tiphat:Funny one Margaret!