It was a cold, and stormy night ...

[Contratrombone64]

As it happened, her brother missed the bus from Bilpin to Penrith, then missed the train to Central and most annoyingly missed his flight from Sydney to New York. In fact, he was so totally overwhellemed at meeting up with this woman (margaret introduced, and now I've totally lost the plot!!) ... er that he never did show up in New England until it was spring, which was just as well because ...

 

[marval]

The author's plot ran out, so even they didn't know what was going to happpen next.

But, after a nice cup of tea and some carrot cake, she felt able to carry on the story.

 

[greatcyber]

As it turns out, a small brown bear cub had wandered in from the adjoining woods. The scent of the pie had roused his pangs of hunger. In a scene akin to Goldilocks, the cub was sitting with his back against the tree in the yard and was greedily enjoying the apple pie. The molasses in the pie gave the poor cub the runs so he dashed off into the woods...

Does a bear shite in the woods?

 

[marval]

I expect a bear does shite, anywhere it likes.

But after it had been in the woods, it came back. Even the thought of the runs again did not deter the bear from returning. He hoped to find some more food to devour, he was really hungry. But when he came close to the town he spotted something very strange, lurking in the shadows.

 

[greatcyber]

It was the baker's adopted brother and the bear cub's mother-dancing what appeared to be a horn pipe! Oh, it looked like great fun. The little cub darted over to the two, with only a few last drips from his posterior. Faster and faster he ran (he didn't have any Charmin) and reached the pair. They all joined hands and paws and did their little jig-a-lig-a-ligga-lig then roared with laughter. What fun they had.

Now, after working up an appetite, they returned to the manor house in search of more pie. Up onto the porch they went and searched each window sill...nothing. The adopted brother opened the front door and they all entered in search of the kitchen.

The woman was sitting at the table doing a crossword puzzle. "Is there more pie," he asked? I'm an old woman and I'm too weary to go all the way to market to fetch more apples to make another, I'm sorry.

He looked knowingly at the bears and nodded his head. The bears charged the old woman and tore her to pieces and the man decided to make a stew with her remains.

 

[marval]

Wow this has turned into a great comedy.

But the man needed more than meat from the woman, he needed vegetables and stock. He suggested the little bear should go back in the woods and pick some mushrooms. "Mind you pick mushrooms and not toadstools." The little bear went back into the woods, he wasn't sure if he would know which ones were mushrooms.

BUT, as luck would have it some of them had toads sitting on them, so he was sure they were toadstools.

 

[greatcyber]

He gathered up some mushrooms that he sniffed out from their hiding spots under some moss and leaves. On his way back to the house, one of the toads called out to him, "Hey bear, you want to taste something REALLY delicious? I can offer you something much better than those nasty mushrooms you have picked."

Curious, the cub approached the toad. "What's wrong with these?" "Nothing, but what I am sitting on is the best in these great woods."

What did he have to lose? The little cub was not very worldly, so he accepted the gift from the toad. "Have a bite little one."

The cub devoured the fungus, thanked the toad and ran off back to the house.

All of the sudden, a warm dizziness came over the cub. Neon hearts danced about his head. The trees swayed and seemed to be dancing with one another. Which was the path back to the house?

A large owl drifted down to a low branch and spoke to the cub. "Little one, you must take this path and he extended a wing to show the way." The cub could barely utter a thank you and proceeded down the path.

With every step he took, the ground moved and the cub became dizzy and disoriented. Just then a sprite came up to him and told him that it knew the future and that he should not return to the house as the intention was to add him to the stew and use his pelt to make chaps for the headless horseman.

Scared, the cub ran in the opposite direction. He ran as fast as he could and soon a beautiful walled city appeared before him. In the center of the wall were huge golden gates. Chipmunks and blue birds were frolicking around and singing merrily.

"Can you tell me what to do? I must escape a certain fate as explained by the wise owl." Giggling, the chipmunks pointed to the gates. Just go through there and you will be fine." With that the gates swung open and inside a scene of merriment was beheld with all sorts of critters playing games and eating candy.

The cub raced through the gates to join in the fun when all at once, the scene evaporated into thin air and the cub found himself falling down at great speed. He was actually at the edge of a cliff when he had seen the chipmunks and blue birds. They had tricked him.

No, it was the toad who had tricked him. No, it was a lesson to be learned the hard way about listening to one's elders. The poor little cub hit the base of the cavern with a dull splat.

Every story should have a moral. Too bad for the cub that he had ventured into the woods alone and fell prey to temptation.

Back at the manor house, the bear and the man waited...

 

[methodistgirl]

until the morning came. Soon I heard a racket and a growl then the
jaguar let out one of his meows.
judy tooley

 

[greatcyber]

As it happened, a vendor had come by who was selling produce. Sure enough, he had more of the wonderful apples. He also had vegetables and stock. Hmmm, now they could make some of that stew...

 

[marval]

Sorry where did the jaguar come from? Oh never mind this story has gone all over the place.

The man looked around for a pot big enough for the stew. At last he fund one, but surprise surprise inside the pot was something he had least expected. It was a bag full of mushrooms, so the baby bear had no need to go into the woods. "I wonder where baby bear is?" thought the man.

 

[greatcyber]

The jaguar is (was) actually a Siamese cat originally, right Judy?

...

"I hope nothing is amiss with the little cub. Oh well, I must carry on with making the stew. Now we have all the ingredients to make a nice big batch."

He sliced up the mushrooms and filled the pot with the stock and veggies. Then he added the pieces of the poor missus so she would be nice and tender.

At that point, the jaguar (cat) decided to go into the woods to look for the little cub. "Hey everyone, I'm going in search of the baby. I shall return in due time to have supper with you."

He let out a meow/growl and dashed out of the doorway and disappeared into the woods. He noticed the toads sitting along the way.

 

[marval]

"Excuse me," said the jaguar(cat), "Have you seen a bear cub around here?".

"What sort of bear cub?" the toads asked, "a brown bear cub, a kodiak bear cub or a polar bear cub?"

"A little brown bear cub." Said the jaguar(cat), The toads said they has seen one but it had gone, they didn't know where.

After a little while the jaguar(cat) came to some gates, sitting by the gates were some chipmonks. "Have you seen a little brown bear cub come this way?"

 

[greatcyber]

Not wanting to upset the jag/cat, they told him that a little cub had gone through the gates earlier. "What is in there"? They looked nervously at each other and explained that it was a barrier to a cliff.

"And you let him enter?" "We tried to tell him that it was dangerous, but he seemed to have a mind of his own." The jag/cat let out a roar and the critters quickly scurried away.

The gates swung open as the jag/cat approached. Cautiously he stepped inside and approached the great cavern. When he peered over the edge of the chasm he saw the cub was now a pavement pizza at the cavern's floor. "Oh, why did I let the little cub go off in search of mushrooms on his own?" Dejected, he turned and started back toward the house.

When he reached the spot where the toads were sitting they called out to him. "Hey, you look hungry. You wanna have a snack before you continue on your way?"

As the jag/cat had quite an appetite from all of his wandering through the woods and he was depressed at the loss of the little cub, he decided a little nosh would be in order. He greedily accepted the toadstools from the toads and devoured them in one great gulp.

"Thanks and now I must be on my way. I have some very bad news to deliver. It is most important that I continue on my journey. Thank you for the refreshment."

With that, he continued down the path. As if by magic, shoppes began to appear along the path. There was a cobbler, fish monger, miliner and costume shop on one side and on the other was a train station. A fuzzy feeling gave way to giddiness so the jag/cat went into the fish monger's shoppe to have another snack. After all, he was a cat and we all know that cats love to eat fish. After he had his fill the owner said, "that will be five quid." "But I have no money, I'm a cat!" "What nerve you have, you bad cat!" Now the jag/cat became very annoyed and leaped at the shoppekeeper and devoured him, too. "That will show him", he thought and was quite pleased with himself.

Next he went into the cobbler's shop to get himself something for his sore pads. "I should like to have your fanciest boots, please," he said to the cobbler. "Why yes, these are the newest arrivals from Paris." After donning the boots he gazed at himself in the mirror. How handsome he looked. "You look like a purrfect gentleman, sir. And they are quite a bargain at only $200 francs." With that, the jag/cat devoured the cobbler.

"I think I should get a costume to disguise myself. I'm sure word travels quickly around here and I do not want to be caught after devouring the others." So off he went into the costume shoppe.

Since he had the magnificent boots on, he decided that he should like to be dressed as a Muskateer. He slipped into the pants and blouse and attached the cape with a golden clasp. "How much for these clothes," he asked. Nervously the owner replied that he was more than happy for the jag/cat to wear them gratis. "And here is a hat for your regal head, sire." The jag/cat thanked the owner and departed.

On the path again, stardust began to rain down upon him. It stung his eyes and confused him further. I had better take the train so I don't lose my way. I feel so strangely, he thought.

Predictably, the train was at the platform as if waiting for him. He boarded and sat in the most comfortable first-class seat he could find. "Be sure to let me know when we arrive at the manor house." The conductor obliged with a bow.

"Woo Woo" went the whistle and the train departed the station and steamed through the woods.

(Where, oh where will this all end up? I don't really care, this is better than watching tv!)

 

[marval]

Who needs tv when you have MIMF.

Well the train went on it's merry little way, unfortunately the conductor who had taken a rather large gulp of Gin, Vodka and Sherry fell asleep.

When he woke up the train had gone way past the manor house, in fact it had arrived in the garden of the magic roundabout. Just as the train pulled into the station the jag/cat woke up. He rubbed his eyes, what were Dougal, Florence and Zebedee doing there? would the stew be big enough for them all? Just then he heard a voice say "Hey man," it was Dylon the spaced out rabbit.



Appologies to anyone who hasn't seen the magic roundabout, because you won't know what I am on about, well you probably won't anyway. Mind you those mushrooms I ate before I typed this tasted lovely.

 

[Contratrombone64]

I'm staggered that you people are so damned imaginative, well done ... I'm speechless.

This spaced out rabbit was, in actual fact, playing on a T.V. in room nearby watched by a pair of bemused buglars who had broken into the manor (I think) and were trying to figure out which to steal.

Suddenly, the siamese cat leapt off the tallboy onto the shoulders of one of the robbers and sunk its teeth and claws into the poor (but deserving) wretch. His cohort decided to help and grabed a nearby broom. The siamese cat (being magical) turned the broom into a boa constrictor which neatly wrapped itself around the two recalcitrant's legs and bound them together.

So, with a rather proud looking siamese cat, and two bound robbers togther in a gloomily lit room (with a T.V. glowing in the distance), there was an almighty nock at the front door ...

 

[marval]

Hi CT, I think you are imaginative too.


The magical siamese cat got up, went to the door and opened it. "Hello" said a man, ". I am the local policeman. and I found this apple pie on your doorstep I was wondering if a kind neighbour had left it for you."

"Oh that's where it went," said the cat. "The funniest thing happened this afternoon, I fell asleep and had a dream about a baby bear eating it, and killing my mistess to make a stew. I am so glad it was only a dream, Oh by the way there are two burglars in the house, I have tied them up, perhaps you could have them taken away."

Just then they both heard footsteps, "Hello," said a voice "can I help you?" It was the cat's mistress home from the shopping.

 

[Contratrombone64]

She said, now my two brothers were to have turned up and surprised you, my darling siamese cat. Did you see them? I told them to come in fancy dress, I think they choose to be robbers. They have a special bowl of cream for you and some other goodies. I can't imagine their surprise at seeing you, you gorgeous feline ...

 

[marval]

Oops, thought the cat that's the nearest cattery for me.

"Well said the cat, you see this policeman's car, well they are in the back. I am very sorry but I thought they were real burglars." "But I have a picture of them on my shelf, you must have seen it."

"Bother thought the cat, I must go to the opticians."

 

[greatcyber]

And with all due haste, the policemen let the brothers out of the patrol car. Apologies made the rounds and the men went into the house to join the mistress and the cat.

"My this is good pie," they all said as they ate their fill of the wonderful pie.

"I am the luckiest cat in the world to have such a wonderful mistress," thought the cat. He stretched lazily and curled into a ball that only cats can do, and settled into a nice cat nap.

"I'm so happy to have all my loved ones here", said the mistress.

A contented sigh escaped from the cat.

"Well boys, let's retire now. We can catch up at a later date. After all, tomorrow's another day"...

 

[Contratrombone64]

But suddenly, pandamonium struck. There was a deep, sinister growling sound that started ... the hairs on the cat's back stood on end and his/her (can't remember the silly things gender) back arched. There, in the distance, down a long, dark corridor emerged the a pair of very piercing but feint red eyes. The growl was getting loud and the "thing" that was emitting it was getting nearer, and nearer ...