Contratrombone64
Admiral of Fugues
Sing this to the tune "I am the modern model, of a modern major general ..." (Sullivan)
I am the very model of a modern climatologist,
Or, as I like to say, an atmospherical pathologist,
By looking at the evidence both present and historical,
I can see into the future just as well as any oracle.
I'm skilled in mathematics and analysis statistical,
My incredible predictions are absolutely mystical,
The comings and the goings of the Southern Oscillation
I can work out in my head, just by mental calculation.
Even though my findings may be scary and sensational,
I can justify them all using methods computational;
I'm biologist, economist and social anthorpologist;
In short I am the very model of a modern climatologist.
You might have heard Antarctica is running out of icicles;
It's time to dump your SUV and get yourself a bicycle;
Bible tales of global floods are not just metaphorical,
Better also get yourself some paddles and a coracle.
My critics (such as they exist) I label as heretical,
And, anyway, their arguments are purely hyopthetical,
since everyone's agreed that the facts are categorical,
signed and sealed and certified in treaties Kyotorical.
And those who think my point of view misguided or hysterial
I threaten with my hockey sticks, both wooden and numerical.
Some say this cooler weather migth be somewhat problematical,
But Global Warming isn't dead, just taking a sabbatical!!
I am the very model of a modern climatologist,
Or, as I like to say, an atmospherical pathologist,
By looking at the evidence both present and historical,
I can see into the future just as well as any oracle.
I'm skilled in mathematics and analysis statistical,
My incredible predictions are absolutely mystical,
The comings and the goings of the Southern Oscillation
I can work out in my head, just by mental calculation.
Even though my findings may be scary and sensational,
I can justify them all using methods computational;
I'm biologist, economist and social anthorpologist;
In short I am the very model of a modern climatologist.
You might have heard Antarctica is running out of icicles;
It's time to dump your SUV and get yourself a bicycle;
Bible tales of global floods are not just metaphorical,
Better also get yourself some paddles and a coracle.
My critics (such as they exist) I label as heretical,
And, anyway, their arguments are purely hyopthetical,
since everyone's agreed that the facts are categorical,
signed and sealed and certified in treaties Kyotorical.
And those who think my point of view misguided or hysterial
I threaten with my hockey sticks, both wooden and numerical.
Some say this cooler weather migth be somewhat problematical,
But Global Warming isn't dead, just taking a sabbatical!!
