Hawk Henries
New member
:grin::crazy::grin:
Maryland
* In Baltimore it's illegal to block the sidewalk with a box
* In Baltimore it is illegal to mistreat oysters.
* In Baltimore, Maryland, it is not legal to take a lion to the movies
Massachusetts
* A woman can not be on top in sexual activities.
* In 1659 the state of Massachusetts outlawed Christmas.
* Longmeadow: It is illegal for two men to carry a bathtub across the town green.
* No gorilla is allowed in the back seat of any car.
* You may not, at any time take a crap on your neighbour.
Michigan
* In Clawson, Mich., there is a law that makes it LEGAL for a farmer to sleep with his pigs, cows, horses, goats, and chickens.
* In Detroit, Michigan it is illegal to sleep in a bathtub.
* It is illegal to loiter in the city morgue in Detroit.
Minnesota
* A person may not cross state lines with a duck atop his head.
* All men driving motorcycles must wear shirts.
* Hamburgers may not be eaten on Sundays.
* Harper Woods: It is illegal to paint sparrows to sell them as parakeets
Mississippi
* Adultery or Fornication (living together while not married or having sex with someone that is not your spouse) results in a fine of $500 and/or 6 months in prison.
* In Brandon, Mississipi it is illegal to attempt to stop someone from walking down the sidewalk by parking a motorhome in their path.
Missouri
* In Merryville women are prohibited from wearing corsets because "the privilege of admiring the curvaceous, unencumbered body of a young woman should not be denied to the normal, red-blooded American male."
* Minors can buy rolling paper and tobacco but not lighters.
* Mole: Frightening a baby is in violation of the law.
* Natchez: It shall be unlawful to provide beer or other intoxicants to elephants.
Montana
* It is illegal to have a sheep in the cab of your truck without a chaperone.
* Bozeman has a law that bans all sexual activity between members of the opposite sex in the front yard of a home after sundown -- if they're nude.
* Whitehall: It is illegal to operate a vehicle with ice picks attached to the wheels.
* Montana just legalized the production of caviar.
Nebraska
* A man is not allowed to run around with a shaved chest.
* It is illegal for bar owners to sell beer unless they are simultaneously brewing a kettle of soup.
* It is illegal to go whale fishing.
* Lehigh: Doughnut holes may not be sold
Nevada
* In Las Vegas, Nevada: It's against the law to pawn your dentures.
* In Las Vegas you can bet on any team--except The University of Nevada at Las Vegas.
* In Nevada sex without a condom is considered illegal.
* It is illegal in Reno, Nevada to conceal a spray-painted shopping cart in your basement.
New Hampshire
* In New Hampshire it is illegal to inhale bus fumes with the intent of inducing euphoria.
* In New Hampshire you are prohibited from pawning the clothes off your back to pay off gambling debts.
* New Hampshire law forbids you to tap your feet, nod your head, or in any way keep time to the music in a tavern, restaurant, or cafe.
* On Sundays citizens may not relieve themselves while looking up.
New Jersey
* If you have been convicted of driving while intoxicated, you may never again apply for personalized license plates.
* It is against the law for a man to knit during the fishing season.
* It is illegal to offer whiskey or cigarettes to animals at the local zoo.
* It's also illegal in this state to throw a bad pickle on the street.
New Mexico
* Las Cruces: You may not carry a lunchbox down Main Street.
* State officials ordered 400 words of "sexually explicit material" to be cut from Romeo and Juliet.
New York
* Citizens may not greet each other by "putting one's thumb to the nose and wiggling the fingers".
* Donkeys are not allowed to sleep in bathtubs in Brooklyn, N.Y.
* During a concert, it is illegal to eat peanuts and walk backwards on the sidewalks.
* In New York State it is still illegal to shoot a rabbit from a moving trolley car.
* In Staten Island, New York, It is illegal for a father to call his son a "faggot" or "queer" in an effort to curb "girlie behavior."
North Carolina
* Charlotte: Women must have their bodies covered by at least 16 yards of cloth at all times.
* Elephants may not be used to plow cotton fields.
* In Nags Headm North Carolina you can be fined for singing out of tune for more than ninety seconds.
* In North Carolina it's illegal to sell cotton lint at night.
* Kill Devil Hills: You may not ride a bicycle without having both your hands on the handle bars.
North Dakota
* Beer and pretzels can't be served at the same time in any bar or restaurant.
* Fargo: One may be jailed for wearing a hat while dancing, or even for wearing a hat to a function where dancing is taking place.
* In North Dakota it is illegal to keep an elk in a sandbox in your backyard.
* It is legal to shoot an Indian on horseback, provided you are in a covered wagon.
Ohio
* In ohio it is illegal to run out of gas.
* In Oxford, Ohio, it's illegal for a woman to strip off her clothing while standing in front of a man's picture.
* Ironton: Cross-dressing is against the law.
* It is illegal to fish for whales on Sunday.
* It is illegal to get a fish drunk.
* Marion: You cannot eat a doughnut and walk backwards on a city street.
* Participating or conducting a duel is prohibited.
Oklahoma
* Anyone arrested for soliciting a hooker must have their name and picture shown on television.
* Clinton, Oklahoma has a law against masturbating while watching two people having sex in a car.
* Clinton: Molesting an automobile is illegal.
* In Bromide, Oklahoma it is illegal for children to use towels as capes and jump from houses pretending to be superman.
* Oklahoma will not tolerate anyone taking a bite out of another's hamburger.
Oregon
* In Willowdale, Oregon, no man may curse while having sex with his wife.
* It is illegal to whisper "dirty" things in your lover's ear during sex.
* It's against the law for a wedding ceremony to be performed at a skating rink.
* Myrtle Creek: One may not box with a kangaroo.
* People may not whistle underwater.
Pennsylvania
* A person is not eligible to become Governor if he/she has participated in a duel.
* In Harrisburg, Pennsylvania it is illegal to have sex with a truck driver inside a toll booth.
* In Philadelphia, you can't put pretzels in bags.
* It is contrary to Pennsylvania law to discharge a gun, cannon, revolver or other explosive weapon at a wedding.
* Pittsburgh: It is still illegal to bring a donkey or a mule onto a trolley car.
Rhode Island
* In Scituate, Rhode Island it is illegal to keep a flock of chickens in your motorhome if you live in a trailer park.
* It is considered an offense to throw pickle juice on a trolley.
* It is illegal to challenge someone to a duel, or accept a duel, even it it is never actually fought. Penalty: Imprisonment for one to seven years.
South Carolina
* It is a capital offense to inadvertently kill someone while attempting suicide.
* It is illegal to give or receive oral sex.
* It is legal to beat your wife on a Sunday morning on the steps of the state house.
* On Hilton Head Island, South Carolina it is illegal to shine a flashlight on a sea turtle
South Dakota
* In South Dakota it is illegal to try to convince a pacifist to renounce his beliefs by threatening to arm-wrestle him.
* It is illegal to lie down and fall asleep in a cheese factory.
Tennessee
* Driving is not to be done while asleep.
* It is illegal to use a lasso to catch a fish.
* It is legal to gather and consume road kill
* You can't shoot any game other than whales from a moving automobile.
Texas
* Dallas: It's illegal to possess realistic dildos.
* In Kingsville, there is a law against two pigs having sex on the city's airport property.
* In Mesquite, Texas it is illegal for kids to have unusual haircuts.
* It is illegal for one to shoot a buffalo from the second story of a hotel.
* Lubbock County: It is illegal to drive within an arm's length of alcohol - including alcohol in someone else's blood stream.
* The entire Encyclopedia Britannica is banned in Texas because it contains a formula for making beer at home.
Utah
* In Monroe, daylight must be visible between partners on a dance floor.
* It is against the law to fish from horseback.
* It is illegal not to drink milk.
* No one may have sex in the back of an ambulance if it is responding to an emergency call.
* Salt Lake City: No one may walk down the street carrying a paper bag containing a violin.
* Trout Creek: Pharmacists may not sell gunpowder to cure headaches.
Vermont
* In Vermont it is illegal to paint landscapes in times of war.
* It is illegal to deny the existence of God.
Virginia
* Culpeper: No one may wash a mule on the sidewalk.
* There was once a law in Salem, Virginia that made it illegal to leave home without knowing where you were going.
Washington
* An old Washington law sent duelists to jail for ten years, assuming they didn't lose the duel.
* Auburn: Men who deflower virgins, regardless of age or marital status, may face up to five years in jail.
* In Seattle, Washington, it is illegal to carry a concealed weapon that is over six feet in length.
* In Spokane, Wash., it used to be illegal to interrupt a religious meeting by having a horse race.
* In the state of Washington it's illegal to catch a fish by throwing a rock at it.
* In Washington, anyone under the age of 18 must have parental permission to throw a tear gas canister.
* It is illegal to paint polka dots on the American flag.
West Virginia
* Alderson: One may not walk a lion, tiger or leopard, even on a leash.
* In West Virginia, it is legal for one to take roadkill home for dinner
* It is against the law for men to have sex with any animal over 40 pounds in weight.
Wisconsin
* Citizens may not murder their enemies.
* In Connorsville, Wisconsin no man shall shoot off a gun while his female partner is having a sexual orgasm.
* La Crosse: It is illegal to play checkers in public. You cannot "worry a squirrel."
* Milwaukee: An old ordinance forbids parking for over two hours unless a horse is tied to the car.
Wyoming
* An ordinance in Newcastle specifically bans couples from having sex while standing inside a store's walk-in meat freezer!
* You may not take a picture of a rabbit during the month of June.
Maryland
* In Baltimore it's illegal to block the sidewalk with a box
* In Baltimore it is illegal to mistreat oysters.
* In Baltimore, Maryland, it is not legal to take a lion to the movies
Massachusetts
* A woman can not be on top in sexual activities.
* In 1659 the state of Massachusetts outlawed Christmas.
* Longmeadow: It is illegal for two men to carry a bathtub across the town green.
* No gorilla is allowed in the back seat of any car.
* You may not, at any time take a crap on your neighbour.
Michigan
* In Clawson, Mich., there is a law that makes it LEGAL for a farmer to sleep with his pigs, cows, horses, goats, and chickens.
* In Detroit, Michigan it is illegal to sleep in a bathtub.
* It is illegal to loiter in the city morgue in Detroit.
Minnesota
* A person may not cross state lines with a duck atop his head.
* All men driving motorcycles must wear shirts.
* Hamburgers may not be eaten on Sundays.
* Harper Woods: It is illegal to paint sparrows to sell them as parakeets
Mississippi
* Adultery or Fornication (living together while not married or having sex with someone that is not your spouse) results in a fine of $500 and/or 6 months in prison.
* In Brandon, Mississipi it is illegal to attempt to stop someone from walking down the sidewalk by parking a motorhome in their path.
Missouri
* In Merryville women are prohibited from wearing corsets because "the privilege of admiring the curvaceous, unencumbered body of a young woman should not be denied to the normal, red-blooded American male."
* Minors can buy rolling paper and tobacco but not lighters.
* Mole: Frightening a baby is in violation of the law.
* Natchez: It shall be unlawful to provide beer or other intoxicants to elephants.
Montana
* It is illegal to have a sheep in the cab of your truck without a chaperone.
* Bozeman has a law that bans all sexual activity between members of the opposite sex in the front yard of a home after sundown -- if they're nude.
* Whitehall: It is illegal to operate a vehicle with ice picks attached to the wheels.
* Montana just legalized the production of caviar.
Nebraska
* A man is not allowed to run around with a shaved chest.
* It is illegal for bar owners to sell beer unless they are simultaneously brewing a kettle of soup.
* It is illegal to go whale fishing.
* Lehigh: Doughnut holes may not be sold
Nevada
* In Las Vegas, Nevada: It's against the law to pawn your dentures.
* In Las Vegas you can bet on any team--except The University of Nevada at Las Vegas.
* In Nevada sex without a condom is considered illegal.
* It is illegal in Reno, Nevada to conceal a spray-painted shopping cart in your basement.
New Hampshire
* In New Hampshire it is illegal to inhale bus fumes with the intent of inducing euphoria.
* In New Hampshire you are prohibited from pawning the clothes off your back to pay off gambling debts.
* New Hampshire law forbids you to tap your feet, nod your head, or in any way keep time to the music in a tavern, restaurant, or cafe.
* On Sundays citizens may not relieve themselves while looking up.
New Jersey
* If you have been convicted of driving while intoxicated, you may never again apply for personalized license plates.
* It is against the law for a man to knit during the fishing season.
* It is illegal to offer whiskey or cigarettes to animals at the local zoo.
* It's also illegal in this state to throw a bad pickle on the street.
New Mexico
* Las Cruces: You may not carry a lunchbox down Main Street.
* State officials ordered 400 words of "sexually explicit material" to be cut from Romeo and Juliet.
New York
* Citizens may not greet each other by "putting one's thumb to the nose and wiggling the fingers".
* Donkeys are not allowed to sleep in bathtubs in Brooklyn, N.Y.
* During a concert, it is illegal to eat peanuts and walk backwards on the sidewalks.
* In New York State it is still illegal to shoot a rabbit from a moving trolley car.
* In Staten Island, New York, It is illegal for a father to call his son a "faggot" or "queer" in an effort to curb "girlie behavior."
North Carolina
* Charlotte: Women must have their bodies covered by at least 16 yards of cloth at all times.
* Elephants may not be used to plow cotton fields.
* In Nags Headm North Carolina you can be fined for singing out of tune for more than ninety seconds.
* In North Carolina it's illegal to sell cotton lint at night.
* Kill Devil Hills: You may not ride a bicycle without having both your hands on the handle bars.
North Dakota
* Beer and pretzels can't be served at the same time in any bar or restaurant.
* Fargo: One may be jailed for wearing a hat while dancing, or even for wearing a hat to a function where dancing is taking place.
* In North Dakota it is illegal to keep an elk in a sandbox in your backyard.
* It is legal to shoot an Indian on horseback, provided you are in a covered wagon.
Ohio
* In ohio it is illegal to run out of gas.
* In Oxford, Ohio, it's illegal for a woman to strip off her clothing while standing in front of a man's picture.
* Ironton: Cross-dressing is against the law.
* It is illegal to fish for whales on Sunday.
* It is illegal to get a fish drunk.
* Marion: You cannot eat a doughnut and walk backwards on a city street.
* Participating or conducting a duel is prohibited.
Oklahoma
* Anyone arrested for soliciting a hooker must have their name and picture shown on television.
* Clinton, Oklahoma has a law against masturbating while watching two people having sex in a car.
* Clinton: Molesting an automobile is illegal.
* In Bromide, Oklahoma it is illegal for children to use towels as capes and jump from houses pretending to be superman.
* Oklahoma will not tolerate anyone taking a bite out of another's hamburger.
Oregon
* In Willowdale, Oregon, no man may curse while having sex with his wife.
* It is illegal to whisper "dirty" things in your lover's ear during sex.
* It's against the law for a wedding ceremony to be performed at a skating rink.
* Myrtle Creek: One may not box with a kangaroo.
* People may not whistle underwater.
Pennsylvania
* A person is not eligible to become Governor if he/she has participated in a duel.
* In Harrisburg, Pennsylvania it is illegal to have sex with a truck driver inside a toll booth.
* In Philadelphia, you can't put pretzels in bags.
* It is contrary to Pennsylvania law to discharge a gun, cannon, revolver or other explosive weapon at a wedding.
* Pittsburgh: It is still illegal to bring a donkey or a mule onto a trolley car.
Rhode Island
* In Scituate, Rhode Island it is illegal to keep a flock of chickens in your motorhome if you live in a trailer park.
* It is considered an offense to throw pickle juice on a trolley.
* It is illegal to challenge someone to a duel, or accept a duel, even it it is never actually fought. Penalty: Imprisonment for one to seven years.
South Carolina
* It is a capital offense to inadvertently kill someone while attempting suicide.
* It is illegal to give or receive oral sex.
* It is legal to beat your wife on a Sunday morning on the steps of the state house.
* On Hilton Head Island, South Carolina it is illegal to shine a flashlight on a sea turtle
South Dakota
* In South Dakota it is illegal to try to convince a pacifist to renounce his beliefs by threatening to arm-wrestle him.
* It is illegal to lie down and fall asleep in a cheese factory.
Tennessee
* Driving is not to be done while asleep.
* It is illegal to use a lasso to catch a fish.
* It is legal to gather and consume road kill
* You can't shoot any game other than whales from a moving automobile.
Texas
* Dallas: It's illegal to possess realistic dildos.
* In Kingsville, there is a law against two pigs having sex on the city's airport property.
* In Mesquite, Texas it is illegal for kids to have unusual haircuts.
* It is illegal for one to shoot a buffalo from the second story of a hotel.
* Lubbock County: It is illegal to drive within an arm's length of alcohol - including alcohol in someone else's blood stream.
* The entire Encyclopedia Britannica is banned in Texas because it contains a formula for making beer at home.
Utah
* In Monroe, daylight must be visible between partners on a dance floor.
* It is against the law to fish from horseback.
* It is illegal not to drink milk.
* No one may have sex in the back of an ambulance if it is responding to an emergency call.
* Salt Lake City: No one may walk down the street carrying a paper bag containing a violin.
* Trout Creek: Pharmacists may not sell gunpowder to cure headaches.
Vermont
* In Vermont it is illegal to paint landscapes in times of war.
* It is illegal to deny the existence of God.
Virginia
* Culpeper: No one may wash a mule on the sidewalk.
* There was once a law in Salem, Virginia that made it illegal to leave home without knowing where you were going.
Washington
* An old Washington law sent duelists to jail for ten years, assuming they didn't lose the duel.
* Auburn: Men who deflower virgins, regardless of age or marital status, may face up to five years in jail.
* In Seattle, Washington, it is illegal to carry a concealed weapon that is over six feet in length.
* In Spokane, Wash., it used to be illegal to interrupt a religious meeting by having a horse race.
* In the state of Washington it's illegal to catch a fish by throwing a rock at it.
* In Washington, anyone under the age of 18 must have parental permission to throw a tear gas canister.
* It is illegal to paint polka dots on the American flag.
West Virginia
* Alderson: One may not walk a lion, tiger or leopard, even on a leash.
* In West Virginia, it is legal for one to take roadkill home for dinner
* It is against the law for men to have sex with any animal over 40 pounds in weight.
Wisconsin
* Citizens may not murder their enemies.
* In Connorsville, Wisconsin no man shall shoot off a gun while his female partner is having a sexual orgasm.
* La Crosse: It is illegal to play checkers in public. You cannot "worry a squirrel."
* Milwaukee: An old ordinance forbids parking for over two hours unless a horse is tied to the car.
Wyoming
* An ordinance in Newcastle specifically bans couples from having sex while standing inside a store's walk-in meat freezer!
* You may not take a picture of a rabbit during the month of June.
but they all make good sense.
