Politically Correct
- Thread starter marval
- Start date
marval
New member
There once was a young person named Red Riding Hood who lived with her mother on the edge of a large wood. One day her mother asked her to take a basket of fresh fruit and mineral water to her grandmother's house -- not because this was womyn's work, mind you, but because the deed was generous and helped engender a feeling of community. Furthermore, her grandmother was not sick, but rather was in full physical and mental health and was fully capable of taking care of herself as a mature adult.
So Red Riding Hood set off with her basket of food through the woods. Many people she knew believed that the forest was a foreboding and dangerous place and never set foot in it. Red Riding Hood, however, was confident in her own budding sexuality that such obvious Freudian imagery did not hinder her.
On her way to Grandma's house, Red Riding Hood was accosted by a Wolf, who asked her what was in her basket. She replied, "Some healthful snacks for my grandmother, who is certainly capable of taking care of herself as a mature adult."
The Wolf said, "You now, my dear, it isn't safe for a little girl to walk through these woods alone."
Red Riding Hood said, "I find your sexist remark offensive in the extreme, but I will ignore it because of your traditional status as an outcast from society, the stress of which has caused you to develop your own, entirely valid worldview. Now, if you'll excuse, me I must be on my way."
Red Riding Hood walked on along the main path. But, because his status outside society had freed him from slavish adherence to linear, Western-style thought, the Wolf knew of a quicker route to Grandma's house. He burst into the house and ate Grandma, an entirely valid course of action for a carnivore such as himself. Then, unhampered by rigid, traditionalist notions of what was masculine or feminine, he put on grandma's nightclothes and crawled into bed.
Red Riding Hood entered the cottage and said, "Grandma, I have brought you some fat-free, sodium-free snacks to salute you in your role of a wise and nurturing matriarch."
From the bed, the Wolf said softly come closer, child, so that I might see you."
Red Riding Hood said, "Oh, I forgot you are as optically challenged as a bat. Grandma, what big eyes you have!"
"They have seen much, and forgiven much, my dear."
"Grandma, what a big nose you have -- only relatively, of course, and certainly attractive in its own way."
"It has smelled much, and forgiven much, my dear."
"Grandma, what big teeth you have!"
The Wolf said, "I am happy with and what I am," and leaped out of bed. He grabbed Red Riding Hood in his claws, intent on devouring her. Red Riding Hood screamed, not out of alarm at the Wolf's apparent tendency toward cross-dressing, but because of his willful invasion of her personal space.
Her screams were heard by a passing woodchopper-person (or log-fuel technician, as he preferred to be called). When he burst into the cottage, he saw the melee and tried to intervene. But as he raised his ax, Red Riding and the Wolf both stopped.
"And what do you think you're doing?" asked Red Riding Hood.
The woodchopper-person blinked and tried to answer, but no words came to him.
"Bursting in here like a Neanderthal, trusting your weapon to do your thinking for you!" she said. "Sexist! Speciesist! How dare you assume that women and wolves can't solve their own problems without a man's help!" When she heard Red Riding Hood's speech, Grandma jumped out of the mouth, took the woodchopper-person's axe, and cut his head off. After this ordeal, Red Riding Hood, Grandma, and the Wolf felt a certain commonality of purpose.
They decided to set up an alternative household based on mutual respect and cooperation, and they lived together in the woods happily ever after.
So Red Riding Hood set off with her basket of food through the woods. Many people she knew believed that the forest was a foreboding and dangerous place and never set foot in it. Red Riding Hood, however, was confident in her own budding sexuality that such obvious Freudian imagery did not hinder her.
On her way to Grandma's house, Red Riding Hood was accosted by a Wolf, who asked her what was in her basket. She replied, "Some healthful snacks for my grandmother, who is certainly capable of taking care of herself as a mature adult."
The Wolf said, "You now, my dear, it isn't safe for a little girl to walk through these woods alone."
Red Riding Hood said, "I find your sexist remark offensive in the extreme, but I will ignore it because of your traditional status as an outcast from society, the stress of which has caused you to develop your own, entirely valid worldview. Now, if you'll excuse, me I must be on my way."
Red Riding Hood walked on along the main path. But, because his status outside society had freed him from slavish adherence to linear, Western-style thought, the Wolf knew of a quicker route to Grandma's house. He burst into the house and ate Grandma, an entirely valid course of action for a carnivore such as himself. Then, unhampered by rigid, traditionalist notions of what was masculine or feminine, he put on grandma's nightclothes and crawled into bed.
Red Riding Hood entered the cottage and said, "Grandma, I have brought you some fat-free, sodium-free snacks to salute you in your role of a wise and nurturing matriarch."
From the bed, the Wolf said softly come closer, child, so that I might see you."
Red Riding Hood said, "Oh, I forgot you are as optically challenged as a bat. Grandma, what big eyes you have!"
"They have seen much, and forgiven much, my dear."
"Grandma, what a big nose you have -- only relatively, of course, and certainly attractive in its own way."
"It has smelled much, and forgiven much, my dear."
"Grandma, what big teeth you have!"
The Wolf said, "I am happy with and what I am," and leaped out of bed. He grabbed Red Riding Hood in his claws, intent on devouring her. Red Riding Hood screamed, not out of alarm at the Wolf's apparent tendency toward cross-dressing, but because of his willful invasion of her personal space.
Her screams were heard by a passing woodchopper-person (or log-fuel technician, as he preferred to be called). When he burst into the cottage, he saw the melee and tried to intervene. But as he raised his ax, Red Riding and the Wolf both stopped.
"And what do you think you're doing?" asked Red Riding Hood.
The woodchopper-person blinked and tried to answer, but no words came to him.
"Bursting in here like a Neanderthal, trusting your weapon to do your thinking for you!" she said. "Sexist! Speciesist! How dare you assume that women and wolves can't solve their own problems without a man's help!" When she heard Red Riding Hood's speech, Grandma jumped out of the mouth, took the woodchopper-person's axe, and cut his head off. After this ordeal, Red Riding Hood, Grandma, and the Wolf felt a certain commonality of purpose.
They decided to set up an alternative household based on mutual respect and cooperation, and they lived together in the woods happily ever after.
intet_at_tabe
Rear Admiral Appassionata (Ret.)
Talking of the military complex in the USA, I found and read this disturbing article about the US government supported companies in an almost entirely sponsored buisness by the US government through the Pentagon, where the roof do not exist as to economical fonding. The buisnesses involved in this highly profitable lucrative buisness have the common name - The Military Corporate Complex.
For those of you in the US who care about how they spend your tax dollars:
June 25, 2008
Billion-Dollar Babies
Five Stealth Pentagon Contractors Reaping Billions of Tax Dollars
By Nick Turse, American Empire.
http://aep.typepad.com/american_empire_project/2008/06/billion-dollar.html
For those of you in the US who care about how they spend your tax dollars:
June 25, 2008
Billion-Dollar Babies
Five Stealth Pentagon Contractors Reaping Billions of Tax Dollars
By Nick Turse, American Empire.
http://aep.typepad.com/american_empire_project/2008/06/billion-dollar.html
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marval
New member
This is a politically correct Christmas poem.
Twas the night before Christmas and Santa's a wreck
How to live in a world that's politically correct?
His workers no longer would answer toi "Elves"
"Vertically Challenged" they were calling themsleves
And labour conditions at the North Pole
Were challenged by the union, to stifle the soul.
Four reindeer had vanished without much propriety
Released to the wilds, by the Humane Society
And equal employment had made it quite clear
That Santa had better not use just reindeer
So Dancer and Donner, and Comet and Cupid
Were replaced with four pigs, and you know that looked stupid.
The runners had been removed from his beautiful sleigh
Because the ruts were deemed dangerous by the EPA
And millions of people were calling the cops
When they heard sled noises upon their roof tops
Second-hand smoke from his pipe, had his workers quite frightened
And his fur-trimmed red suit was called "unenlightened."
To show you the strangeness of today's ebbs and flows
Rudolph was suing over unauthorised use of his nose
He went to Geraldo, in front of the nation
Demanding millions in over-due compensation.
So...half of the reindeer were gone, and his wife
Who suddenly said she'd had enough of this life
Joined a self-help group, packed and left in a whiz
Demanding from now on that her title was Ms.
And as for the gifts...why, he'd never had the notion
That making a choice could cause such a commotion
Nothing of leather, nothing of fur
Which meant nothing for him or nothing for her
Nothing to aim, nothing to shoot
Nothing that clamoured or made lots of noise
Nothing for just girls and nothing for just boys
Nothing that claimed to be gender specific
Nothing that's warlike or non pacifistic.
No candy or sweets...they were bad for the tooth
Nothing that seemed to embelish upon the truth
And fairy tales...while not yet forbidden
Were like Ken and Barbie, better off hidden
For they raised the hackles of those psychological
Who claimed the only good gift was one ecological.
So Santa just stood there, disheveled and perplexed
He just couldn't figure out what to do next
He tried to be merry he tried to be gay
But you must have to admit, he was having a very bad day
His sack was quite empty, it was flat on the ground
Nothing fully acceptable was anywhere to be found.
Something special was needed, a gift that he might
Give to us all, without angering the left or the right
A gift that would satisfy - with no indecision
Each group of people in every religion
Every race, every hue
Everyone, everywhere..even you
So here is a gift, it's price beyond worth...
"MAY YOU AND YOUR LOVED ONES, ENJOY PEACE ON EARTH."
Twas the night before Christmas and Santa's a wreck
How to live in a world that's politically correct?
His workers no longer would answer toi "Elves"
"Vertically Challenged" they were calling themsleves
And labour conditions at the North Pole
Were challenged by the union, to stifle the soul.
Four reindeer had vanished without much propriety
Released to the wilds, by the Humane Society
And equal employment had made it quite clear
That Santa had better not use just reindeer
So Dancer and Donner, and Comet and Cupid
Were replaced with four pigs, and you know that looked stupid.
The runners had been removed from his beautiful sleigh
Because the ruts were deemed dangerous by the EPA
And millions of people were calling the cops
When they heard sled noises upon their roof tops
Second-hand smoke from his pipe, had his workers quite frightened
And his fur-trimmed red suit was called "unenlightened."
To show you the strangeness of today's ebbs and flows
Rudolph was suing over unauthorised use of his nose
He went to Geraldo, in front of the nation
Demanding millions in over-due compensation.
So...half of the reindeer were gone, and his wife
Who suddenly said she'd had enough of this life
Joined a self-help group, packed and left in a whiz
Demanding from now on that her title was Ms.
And as for the gifts...why, he'd never had the notion
That making a choice could cause such a commotion
Nothing of leather, nothing of fur
Which meant nothing for him or nothing for her
Nothing to aim, nothing to shoot
Nothing that clamoured or made lots of noise
Nothing for just girls and nothing for just boys
Nothing that claimed to be gender specific
Nothing that's warlike or non pacifistic.
No candy or sweets...they were bad for the tooth
Nothing that seemed to embelish upon the truth
And fairy tales...while not yet forbidden
Were like Ken and Barbie, better off hidden
For they raised the hackles of those psychological
Who claimed the only good gift was one ecological.
So Santa just stood there, disheveled and perplexed
He just couldn't figure out what to do next
He tried to be merry he tried to be gay
But you must have to admit, he was having a very bad day
His sack was quite empty, it was flat on the ground
Nothing fully acceptable was anywhere to be found.
Something special was needed, a gift that he might
Give to us all, without angering the left or the right
A gift that would satisfy - with no indecision
Each group of people in every religion
Every race, every hue
Everyone, everywhere..even you
So here is a gift, it's price beyond worth...
"MAY YOU AND YOUR LOVED ONES, ENJOY PEACE ON EARTH."
methodistgirl
New member
That really touched me. Thanks!
judy tooley
judy tooley
intet_at_tabe
Rear Admiral Appassionata (Ret.)
Ms. Margaret :tiphat::clap:
I feel excactly the same as Ms. Judy - AWESOME poetry Ms. Margaret. :clap::clap::clap::clap:
intet_at_tabe
Rear Admiral Appassionata (Ret.)
Disturbing is not the right word, Ms. Margaret :tiphat:
I find the article frightening and hipocritical, not to mention arrogant towards every other American, who have nothing to do with.
I can´t figure out why this continued reinforcement of military hardware have to be nessesary for a country, which can´t win a war, or rather more to the truth - can´t keep the peace.
Violence always creates more violence, and always the innocent are to be the victims.
What realy worries me is the paragraph: "Under the radar":
"All told, these five stealth corporations from the military-corporate complex received more than $8.9 billion in taxpayer dollars in 2007. To put this into perspective, that sum is almost $2 billion more than the Bush administration's proposed 2009 budget for the Environmental Protection Agency. Put another way, it's about nine times what one-sixth of the world's population spent on food last year.".
Nine times more than 1/6 of the worlds population spent on food last year. Can you imagine this kind of money, which could have been spent more democraticly on the ones without anything whatsoever domesticly in the USA?
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Contratrombone64
Admiral of Fugues
how surprising, turned political again, I'm amazed!
Margaret - loved the Red Riding Wolf story, made me laugh, thanks
Margaret - loved the Red Riding Wolf story, made me laugh, thanks
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marval
New member
"POLITICALLY CORRECT TERMS"
Dirty Old Man:
Sexually focused chronologically gifted individual.
Perverted:
Sexually dysfunctional.
Serial Killer:
Person with difficult-to-meet needs.
Lazy:
Motivationally deficient.
Fat:
Horizontally challenged.
Fail:
Achieve a deficiency.
Dishonest:
Ethically disoriented.
Bald:
Follicularly challenged.
Clumsy:
Uniquely coordinated.
Body Odour:
Nondiscretionary fragrance.
Alive:
Temporarily metabolically abled.
Worst:
Least best.
Wrong:
Differently logical.
Ugly:
Cosmetically different.
Unemployed:
Involuntarily leisured.
Short:
Vertically challenged.
Dead:
Living impaired.
Vagrant:
Non-specifically destinationed individual.
Spendthrift:
Negative saver.
Drunk:
Chemically inconvenienced.
Pregnant:
Parasitically oppressed.
Ignorant:
Knowledge-based non-possessor.
Dirty Old Man:
Sexually focused chronologically gifted individual.
Perverted:
Sexually dysfunctional.
Serial Killer:
Person with difficult-to-meet needs.
Lazy:
Motivationally deficient.
Fat:
Horizontally challenged.
Fail:
Achieve a deficiency.
Dishonest:
Ethically disoriented.
Bald:
Follicularly challenged.
Clumsy:
Uniquely coordinated.
Body Odour:
Nondiscretionary fragrance.
Alive:
Temporarily metabolically abled.
Worst:
Least best.
Wrong:
Differently logical.
Ugly:
Cosmetically different.
Unemployed:
Involuntarily leisured.
Short:
Vertically challenged.
Dead:
Living impaired.
Vagrant:
Non-specifically destinationed individual.
Spendthrift:
Negative saver.
Drunk:
Chemically inconvenienced.
Pregnant:
Parasitically oppressed.
Ignorant:
Knowledge-based non-possessor.
Corno Dolce
Admiral Honkenwheezenpooferspieler
I have heard that those who are ignorant are freed from having intelligence.
marval
New member
Here is another PC Fairy Tale.
Jack and the Beanstalk - The Modern Day Version
Once upon a time, on a little farm, there lived a boy named Jack, He lived on the farm with his mother, and they were very excluded from the normal circles of economic activity. This cruel reality kept them in straits of direness, until one day Jack's mother told him to take the family cow into town and sell it for as much as he could.
Never mind the thousands of gallons of milk they had stolen from her! Never mind the hours of pleasure their bovine animal companion had provided! And forget about the manure they had appropriated for their garden! She was now just another piece of property to them. Jack, who didn't realize that non-human animals have as many rights as human animals perhaps even more, did as his mother asked.
On his way to town, Jack met an old magic vegetarian, who warned Jack of thedangers of eating beef and dairy products.
"Oh, I'm not going to eat this cow," said Jack. "I'm going to take her into town and sell her."
"But by doing that, you'll just perpetuate the cultural mythos of beef, ignoring the negative impact of the cattle industry on our ecology and the health and social problems that arise from meat consumption. But you look too simple to be able to make these connections, my boy. I'll tell you what I'll do: I'll offer a trade of your cow for these three magic beans, which have as much protein as that entire cow but none of the fat or sodium."
Jack made the trade gladly and took the beans home to his mother. When he told herabout the deal he had made, she grew very upset. She used to think her son was merely a conceptual rather than a linear thinker, but now she was sure that he was downright differently abled. She grabbed the three magic beans and threw them out the window in disgust. Later that day, she attended her first support-group meeting with Mothers of Storybook Children.
The next morning, Jack stuck his head out the window to see if the sun had risen in the east again (he was beginning to see a pattern in this). But outside the window, the beans had grown into a huge stalk that reached through the clouds. Because he no longer had a cow to milk in the morning, Jack climbed the beanstalk into the sky.
At the top, above the clouds, he found a huge castle. It was not only big, but it was built to larger-than-average scale, as if it were the home of someone who just happened to be a giant. Jack entered the castle and heard beautiful music wafting through the air. He followed this sound until he found its source: a golden harp that played music without being touched. Next to this self-actualized harp was a hen sitting on a pile of golden eggs.
Now, the prospect of easy wealth and mindless entertainment appealed to Jack's bourgeois sensibilities, so he picked up both the harp and the hen and started to run for the front door. Then he heard thundering footsteps and a booming voice that said:
"FEE, FIE, FOE, FUM, "I smell the blood of an English person!”I'd like to learn about his culture and views on life! "And share my own perspectives in an open and generous way!"
Unfortunately, Jack was too crazed with greed to accept the giant's offer of a cultural interchange. "It's only a trick," thought Jack. "Besides, what's a giant doing with such fine, delicate things? He must have stolen them from somewhere else, so I have every right to take them." His frantic justifications remarkable for someone with his overtaxed mental resources revealed a terrible callousness to the giant's personal rights. Jack apparently was a complete sizeist, who thought that all giants were clumsy, knowledge-impaired, and exploitable.
When the giant saw Jack with the magic harp and the hen, he asked, "Why are you taking what belongs to me?"
Jack knew he couldn't outrun the giant, so he had to think fast. He blurted out, "I'm not taking them, my friend. I am merely placing them in my stewardship so that they can be properly managed and brought to their fullest potential. Pardon my bluntness, but you giants are too simple in the head and don't know how to manage your resources properly. I'm just looking out for your interests. You'll thank me for this later."
Jack held his breath to see if the bluff would save his skin. The giant sighed heavily and said, "Yes, you are right. We giants do use our resources foolishly. Why, we can't even discover a new beanstalk before we get so excited and pick away at it so much that we pull the poor thing right out of the ground!"
Jack's heart sank. He turned and looked out the front door of the castle. Sure enough, the giant had destroyed his beanstalk. Jack grew frightened and cried, "Now I'm trapped here in the clouds with you forever!"
The giant said, "Don't worry, my little friend. We are strict vegetarians up here, and there are always plenty of beans to eat. And besides, you won't be alone. Thirteen other men of your size have already climbed up beanstalks to visit us and stayed."
So Jack resigned himself to his fate as a member of the giant's cloud commune. He didn't miss his mother or their farm much, because up in the sky there was less work to do and more than enough to eat. And he gradually learned not to judge people based on their size ever again, except for those shorter than he.
Jack and the Beanstalk - The Modern Day Version
Once upon a time, on a little farm, there lived a boy named Jack, He lived on the farm with his mother, and they were very excluded from the normal circles of economic activity. This cruel reality kept them in straits of direness, until one day Jack's mother told him to take the family cow into town and sell it for as much as he could.
Never mind the thousands of gallons of milk they had stolen from her! Never mind the hours of pleasure their bovine animal companion had provided! And forget about the manure they had appropriated for their garden! She was now just another piece of property to them. Jack, who didn't realize that non-human animals have as many rights as human animals perhaps even more, did as his mother asked.
On his way to town, Jack met an old magic vegetarian, who warned Jack of thedangers of eating beef and dairy products.
"Oh, I'm not going to eat this cow," said Jack. "I'm going to take her into town and sell her."
"But by doing that, you'll just perpetuate the cultural mythos of beef, ignoring the negative impact of the cattle industry on our ecology and the health and social problems that arise from meat consumption. But you look too simple to be able to make these connections, my boy. I'll tell you what I'll do: I'll offer a trade of your cow for these three magic beans, which have as much protein as that entire cow but none of the fat or sodium."
Jack made the trade gladly and took the beans home to his mother. When he told herabout the deal he had made, she grew very upset. She used to think her son was merely a conceptual rather than a linear thinker, but now she was sure that he was downright differently abled. She grabbed the three magic beans and threw them out the window in disgust. Later that day, she attended her first support-group meeting with Mothers of Storybook Children.
The next morning, Jack stuck his head out the window to see if the sun had risen in the east again (he was beginning to see a pattern in this). But outside the window, the beans had grown into a huge stalk that reached through the clouds. Because he no longer had a cow to milk in the morning, Jack climbed the beanstalk into the sky.
At the top, above the clouds, he found a huge castle. It was not only big, but it was built to larger-than-average scale, as if it were the home of someone who just happened to be a giant. Jack entered the castle and heard beautiful music wafting through the air. He followed this sound until he found its source: a golden harp that played music without being touched. Next to this self-actualized harp was a hen sitting on a pile of golden eggs.
Now, the prospect of easy wealth and mindless entertainment appealed to Jack's bourgeois sensibilities, so he picked up both the harp and the hen and started to run for the front door. Then he heard thundering footsteps and a booming voice that said:
"FEE, FIE, FOE, FUM, "I smell the blood of an English person!”I'd like to learn about his culture and views on life! "And share my own perspectives in an open and generous way!"
Unfortunately, Jack was too crazed with greed to accept the giant's offer of a cultural interchange. "It's only a trick," thought Jack. "Besides, what's a giant doing with such fine, delicate things? He must have stolen them from somewhere else, so I have every right to take them." His frantic justifications remarkable for someone with his overtaxed mental resources revealed a terrible callousness to the giant's personal rights. Jack apparently was a complete sizeist, who thought that all giants were clumsy, knowledge-impaired, and exploitable.
When the giant saw Jack with the magic harp and the hen, he asked, "Why are you taking what belongs to me?"
Jack knew he couldn't outrun the giant, so he had to think fast. He blurted out, "I'm not taking them, my friend. I am merely placing them in my stewardship so that they can be properly managed and brought to their fullest potential. Pardon my bluntness, but you giants are too simple in the head and don't know how to manage your resources properly. I'm just looking out for your interests. You'll thank me for this later."
Jack held his breath to see if the bluff would save his skin. The giant sighed heavily and said, "Yes, you are right. We giants do use our resources foolishly. Why, we can't even discover a new beanstalk before we get so excited and pick away at it so much that we pull the poor thing right out of the ground!"
Jack's heart sank. He turned and looked out the front door of the castle. Sure enough, the giant had destroyed his beanstalk. Jack grew frightened and cried, "Now I'm trapped here in the clouds with you forever!"
The giant said, "Don't worry, my little friend. We are strict vegetarians up here, and there are always plenty of beans to eat. And besides, you won't be alone. Thirteen other men of your size have already climbed up beanstalks to visit us and stayed."
So Jack resigned himself to his fate as a member of the giant's cloud commune. He didn't miss his mother or their farm much, because up in the sky there was less work to do and more than enough to eat. And he gradually learned not to judge people based on their size ever again, except for those shorter than he.